Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
