im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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