Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I would fuck him just for his dog
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
