Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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