Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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