How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
