My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
