i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
