we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
