marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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