She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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