I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
