The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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