you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
