ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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