Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
