I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
