Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
