It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
