Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
