well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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