Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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