thus making me awesome and them whores
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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