He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
