i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
