yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
