me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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