I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
