I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
