matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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