We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
