I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
