True but thats because hes a fetus.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
