So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
