just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
