I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
