Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
