that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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