before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
