apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
