remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
