Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
