I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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