Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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