We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
