I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
