Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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