What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
