no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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