no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
