its not stalking. its research.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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