Don't you send me to vm
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
