Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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