You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Did I show you my penis last night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
